Fashion is made to become unfashionable

The best of the best from this years Met Gala and the religious inspos and notice there isn’t a Kardashian in site (did they even get the memo this year about the theme). Come on Kylie the theme wasn’t The matrix. 

A lot of people have said that it was a controversial theme but to me I didn’t see that. I can understand why people could think that but fashion is a religion to some people and for me my interpretation it was just simply combining the two “religions”. If the pope himself donating some of his clothes to some designers to create garments for this event its not that controversial. I almost choked when i found out that the pope donating some of his gowns to make Rhianna’s outfit…..Iconic

Photo credit 

Vm work by me since January 2018.

HEY!!!! I’M BACK 

I’ve been thinking about coming back to blogging more regularly recently and the only reason I’ve been away for a long time is that I have no interesting things to talk about. I’m going to be starting university in September or next march depending on the availability on the September course so hopefully within the next couple of months I’ll be here updating you all whats going on in my life and even just coming back to blogging regularly.

For my come back post I’m thinking about doing a Q&A so please please please leave me questions in my inbox www.the-front-row.tumblr.com/ask I’ll be answering anything and everything from fashion to my personal life so ask away.

“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings” 

BEFORE - AFTER

So I did it . After four very long years
I am finally discharged from all eating disorder services . Words cannot express how I will be forever grateful to not only the Leicestershire services but to Hampshire service too . Back when I was first diagnosed I thought that was it , that my life was over especially being re admitted into hospital and leaving uni. I didn’t have a life all that I consist of was constantly intensely fearing weight gain just barely surviving. I was a mess. And didn’t think I could ever get well enough again.

There are not enough words in the world to say how thankful and lucky for every single member of staff who helped me along the journey from therapists to nurses to hca those were the people who got me through every mouthful of food to every morning weigh ins. There were countless times when giving up just seemed so much easier but it was with the support from everyone who helped me through it and who believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself I am where I am today because of them. I was proabbly months away from death , anorexia nearly killed me and they saved my life even though at the time I rebelled as much as I could but I’m glad that they were there to sort my sassy attitude out. You are the ones who have inspired me into even considering going back to uni and have inspired me to pick the course I want to pursue .

Looking back to the person I was i can’t believe that was even me. From nearly getting tube fed and constant threats of getting sectioned my mind can’t get around the fact that that was who I was.Now I’m able to think,be creative , And actually laugh at jokes where as before I had to force out a smile . I could barley walk for ten minutes without wanting to collapse . All these memories still haunt me to this day but that’s it , that’s what they are ,just memories, I’m now making new ones , happier ones to replace them.

I can honestly say for the first time in my life I’m proud of the person I am today and everything I’ve achieved and will achieve in the future . Ive proven to myself that I can do anything I want and that I am worth fighting for. I honestly don’t know what the furure holds and if anorexia will ever be apart of my life again but I do know that I can beat anything that I put my mind to .

I can’t thank enough my family who I put through hell and back and who stood by me even through the times I had screaming matches with them . Also thank you Beth , not only are you my twin but who has been my main inspiration through my recovery and will always be , I remember when all I wanted to be was you and you came for hospital visits even though you were in your final year of uni you’ll never know how much your inspire me , you are a reminder of what I want.

I’ve met so many people who really are friends for life and I’m so proud aswell on how far they’ve came . Who knew you could meet such good friends through horrible circumstances. And that’s why I always say I never regret getting ill without it I wouldn’t have known such amazing people . Once you get ill with anorexia I believe you never really get back to the person you once was before the illness but that said you become someone stronger and know yourself a bit more .

For the people struggling still, you’re never too far gone to recover even if it takes you 2,3 or even 10 years it gets better . I’ll always hold the hope for the people who can’t do it for themselves like others did for me .

Here’s to a brighter future ⭐️⭐️Here’s to the new chapter in life .

New year New you ?

So we only have a few more days left of 2017 ( I’m pretty sure I was only turning 23 a few days ago). Where has the time gone ? With the new year comes new years resolutions,but is the saying “new year new you” really realistic. We all have those friends or know of people whos number 1 goal come January is to loose weight , burn off all those bucksfizzs, mince pies and chocolates. But really how realistic it this? Surely if you wanted to loose weight so much you would wait until January to do this.

So instead of new years resolutions why cant this be the start of self improvements instead of one main goal. What i’ve learnt over the past few years are that if you have yourself too focus on one main goal that you end up destroying your self esteem , you pick yourself apart until there’s nothing left but the feeling of emptiness. Small steps towards self improvement means higher self esteem , more likely to achieve things and you end up becoming a stronger person.

So for 2018 my main self improvements that I want to achieve both professional and personally are…..

1.Take better care of my finance. I must admit that rarely keep receipts , I rarely look at my online banking (other than when I’ve been paid) so if anyone took £100 without me knowing I wouldn’t have a clue which is really bad I know. Over the last year I’ve tried numerous of times to set budgets and spreadsheets with in comings and out goings but I give up too easily or get easily distracted. The plan for 2018 is to start keeping receipts and go through them against my bank statement at the end of each month ( a little tip I got from mother bear). I know its just easier to ignore and be oblivious to my money, you know ignorance is bliss and all that. But its just another stress factor in my life that I dont need , I feel like if I get on top of my money I’ll fee a bit more organised (I’m getting onto that point next). It also means making sure I know how much I have to pay off my staff card before my bill comes.

2. Be organised. This means on the 1st of Jan my calendar will go up and every important date (payday) will be marked and as soon as I know another important it will be written in ASAP . This year my memory is awful so I’ve been double booked on quite a few occasions and as well if I go back to uni this year I need to make sure it will be stress free as possible especially as my course is a pretty full on course.

3. “Say yes” more. Say yes to shifts at work , say yes to trying new things , say yes to new opportunities. We only have one life , am I going to say one day “I wish I did X” you’ll never know by saying yes you can flip your life 180. This leads on to NO. 4

4.Move on job wise. I know I’m only 23 but I’m not getting any younger . I’ve come to realise that retail isn’t for me its not what I want to do for the rest of my life and at this moment in time I feel stuck in my job , if I don’t make the move now I don’t think I’ll ever will. But that means interviews……. something I dread , I guess it’s a fake it till you make it kind of thing.

5.Keep in contact more. I’ve met some AMAZING people over the years and the majority of them live in different cities so it’s easy for me to loose contact with them and its something I don’t want to happen. These people have supported me so much over the last few difficult years, all of them I’ve met not in the normal way but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world, I would go to say they are my best friends and the only stable friendships I’ve had. So even if it means travelling hours away to meet so be it. (You guys know who you are x). Friendship isn’t about how often you see someone its how much of an effort you make,  its a simple “hope things are ok” now and again to check in with them.

6. Keep up with my skin care. I’ll admit it I’m not one for skincare. I’m a leave your make up over night kind of girl and i know its awful to do but especially if I’ve been on the late at work and I’m up again early I just don’t find the motivation but my skin isn’t getting any better and I still have the skin of a 15 year old going through puberty not an attractive look when all your friends have glowing skin.

So lets see next year how many I’ve managed to have kept up with.

And to the rest of you “May the last day of 2017 be the plot twist you wanted”